I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.
regala_electra

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"don't listen to him, he's drunk on cheese!"

"Don't listen to him, he's drunk on cheese!" is almost as useful as "So's your face!"

I've been saying that a lot this weekend. Even though only my sisters got it, I still like saying it. Ah, Scrubs, I shall have S4 in my posession in a few days.

And Farscape too. The final eps of S4. Yeah, you might not see me for a while. Or if you do, I will be a gibbering mess. I love Farscape so hardcore, y'all. You will never know a love as powerful, as pure, as wonderful. (Ignoring all the eps I hated does wonders for fandom love.)

In TV news, I think I'm going to want to give Battlestar Galatica another shot. I've seen the mini and two eps from S1, but I think I'll have to see the entire two seasons, as I kind of enjoy the season three premiere. Like, a lot. A whole lot. Even if I did ponder killing myself at the end.

No, I kid, because then I watched the last couple of minutes of Doctor Who's Doomsday to really break down. Rose cried so much her mascara ran! HER MASCARA. People. Mascara is a Very Big Deal for those who celebrate the cult of wearing way too fucking much mascara. Crying is something real mascara junkies have trained themselves not to do. *Applies another coat in Rose's honor.*


And related to mascara, the eye shadow I picked up, one of those liquid ones, makes me look like a crack whore. Which would be fantastic if I was going as a crack whore for Halloween. Actually, I'm not going as anything for Halloween. Woe.

We're actually going to have a Halloween party at home, but I don't think anyone I know would want to come and that makes me all :-/ which is not where I want to be.

I like being like this, if you've ever wondered: :-5

What, did you not know my smile looks like a 5?

Silly flist.

I was going to go to a fair today but was hit with the stupid period whammy o' doom. I did get to watch the last two eps of SPN with Sister K before she left for work. She also hates clowns and fears Sam's hair.

Which are both two heathly things to fear, by the way. Sam's hair is starting to get a life of its own. It is scaring the hell of out me. Free to be scary indeed.

In fic news, I am in desperate need of someone to look over the next part of my awesome (or crazy) Faith/Dean series: Kidney Punch: Other Myths About Healing Abilities That Aren't Truth.

Please? Because I need someone else's brain to bounce this fic off of, just to know what's working, what isn't, and just to get some fresh thoughts outside of my own stupid mind.

I'm still annoyed that I had to drop the entire plot because it just wasn't working. I may try to use it in a later part (this is part 3, and I'm going to do at least six parts for sure and I'm certainly not ending it at part 6), but for now, my entire damn plot? Is gone. And that makes it hard to work on what I do have going on, because I get all sad about the plot no longer being there.

I mean, there's a story, a hurt/comfort thing intercut with voicemails from the past (Faith outlining sexy good times she's having with people who are not Dean, while dropping in little unintentioned tidbits about her philosophy on life), and I think it's good, but I just need someone else's perspective, you know?

I'd like to get this fic finished so I can then work on the following:

My two SPN Halloween fest prompts - an All Saints Day Sam fic (ZOMG I am going to attempt to write Sam. To write SPN Gen Only. Someone hold me) & a Dean goes to Boston fic (and do you know who he's picking up? Why, Faith of course. Because I'm in love with my crossover OTP, yo).

My B/A fic. I have two ideas, I'll just see where the mood takes me. Soul-crushing or just hope-crushing. The usual.

Then I need to type out a Five Things Rose fic prompt. Which is nearly done, but I can't read my own handwriting (I know, I suck), so I have to sort of work myself up for have to transcribe the damn thing.

Now, I shall show you my very first attempt to write Sam, a five things fic that only has one thing so far, although there are four others that will someday be finished.

Five Times Dean and Faith Drove Sam Up a Wall
Author: Regala Electra
Fandoms: BtVS/AtS, Supernatural, Farscape Reference
Pairings: Faith/Dean, Faith/Other
Rating: R
Author’s Notes: Karen Shaw = From Farscape, Kansas. If you know who ‘Karen’ really is, you rock. Any errors are my fault and this part will be further revised in the near future. Concrit appreciated. Edited to Add: I just realized there's a reference in here that may have been unintentionally rude. Please know I've been working on this fic for over a month's time and my deepest sympathies are with the Amish. The reference has been removed.

*



1. I Never

This game is like most games suggested by Dean and Faith: a very bad idea.

But they're out in Lancaster, PA after a lead turned out to be a bust.

So they decided to do the only thing you can do out in the sticks. Get drunk.

And because the last time he’d gone to a bar with Faith and Dean, he’d ended up for some reason wearing half of Faith’s makeup on half of his face (“Dude, you’re the Before and After,” she had explained, still drunk herself), Sam had protested any suggestion to stop off at a bar. Instead they’d gone to a nearby beer distributor and picked up a twenty-four pack of beer. Yuenling, which Faith had declared as “great shit” and Dean had cracked about her loyalty to Samuel Adams (“I thought a Boston chick would stay faithful to her Founding Beer Fathers”).

Faith retaliated for that comment by jumping easily onto Dean’s back and Sam had to look elsewhere because Dean totally grabbed Faith’s ass and Sam’s going to start carrying around a water bottle and spray them, saying, “Bad Dean! Bad Faith!”

After they’d gotten back to their motel room, Faith had wandered off, saying she had to see a man about a hell of a bargain. Faith came back in less than a half hour’s time, carrying one of those huge plastic ice buckets (and Sam's learned not to ask where) and she and Sam had filled it up with ice from the rickety machine outside while Dean showered.

There are still a whole of lot of frosty beers to drink. If Sam uses all of his cunning and hatches a devious plan, he might end up the most sober of the trio and that would be a good thing.

Last time he woke up not only hung-over, but wearing a pair of Faith's (clean) panties on his head. There were pictures. This was apparently revenge for when Sam asked about Faith's feelings for Dean. He's learned his lesson.

Once he gets past a six pack he tends to start asking questions that will lead to panties on his head, so he cuts himself off, not willing to test the limit.

"I never made out with a vampire," Dean says and Sam snorts, like anyone’s about to admit to that.

Faith takes a giant gulp, finishing half the newly opened bottle.

Dean looks both amused and a little freaked out, but all he says is, "Should I up the ante on that question?"

Faith wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. "Not unless Sammy here has been fucking vampires. Besides, vamps are the same almost. Just have to watch out for the teeth sometimes." She then shrugs, "I wasn't in exactly the best of places. But Angel's a great goddamn kisser, even when he's double-crossing me." She winks then and she puts her socked feet in Dean’s lap, lying back on the bed, setting her near-empty bottle on the ground. Thank god Dean’s not smirking at Sam, as that’s a sign when Faith’s wiggling her feet (which she had done before and man, they act like dogs in heat all the time, he really had to pick up a water spray bottle next time they stop off for gas).

Sam's also learned not ask what the fuck Faith means about being double-crossed by a vampire. On the rare occasions that she elaborates, he gets the feeling that she's totally bullshitting him.

She's smiling which is a bad sign. Faith's frowns are also a bad sign. In fact, Sam hasn't figured out what's a good sign from her. Probably when she's sleeping. She's not up to mischief then. Unless she humps Dean in her sleep, which he wouldn’t put past her.

Faith sits straight up, taking a proffered bottle of beer from Dean. "I bet you rocked the bottles of beer song,” she says to him and it’s almost nice. Which is why she ruins the moment by saying, “I never shot someone I cared about."

Sam sighs and drinks. Faith joins him. Dean lowers his bottle, looking off in the middle distance.
It changes the whole game and now nevers stated are dangerous.

I never got hard listening to someone having sex in the same room as me.

Faith says after smirking at Dean and Sam both knocking back their drinks, "Define hard. You just mean horny?"

I never spent a night in prison (they all drank, Faith finished a bottle)

On to the weird sex questions and Sam drinks little during these challenges. Dean makes a face after every time Faith’s the only one downing the drink, like he needs to make up for all the lewd sex acts he hasn’t yet performed and the ones she’s apparently mastered.

Sam would tell them to get a room, but they might just kick him out and he has staked his place in this bed. This is Sam Territory. Also, he is not sleeping in the car again and this was the last room in this dingy motel. He is not leaving Sam Territory without a battle.

Oh. He might be a little bit just a fraction of a possibly not really kinda totally drunk.

“Dude, did you just say your ass is on Sam Territory?” Dean asks this while Faith’s nipping at his neck, a smile punctuating each semi-kiss.

“Did the vampires teach you that?” Sam says because he’s stupid and he’s drunk.

“No, a girl named uh, Karen Or Something did,” Faith says, patting Sam’s knee. “She had a thing for necks and I met her one Halloween. She wore grey makeup all over and I mean all over. You gotta love a girl who commits to her Halloween costume.”

Dean makes a gurgling noise that Sam needs to remember and later mock.

“Shaw! That was her name, I think.”

“It’s good to know you and my brother have that in common,” Sam mutters as he stares into the emptiness of his bottle. Huh. How did that happen?

“You fucked Karen too?”

Sam has no idea why Faith sounds almost impressed by that.

Dean, glaring at Sam, like Sam’s responsible for Faith’s lesbian forays, says, “Uh, don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting a girl all in grey.”


She grins at him and says, “That’s good, because I figured she was either all or part demon and I know your issues with not getting normal human tail. Hey, you guys know all my karate chop action is thanks to some bastards laying some demon mojo down on the first Slayer back in the old old days?”

Faith doesn’t allow for an answer. “I’ve never moved shit with my mind.”

Sighing, Sam takes a drink. And says something incredibly, awfully stupid, “I’ve never brought my girlfriend on a hunt.”

Dean’s working on his ability to beat up people with just a look, Sam will give him that. But before he can lift the bottle to his mouth, Faith grabs it, not to drink it, but to set it on the beside table.

“Cut that shit out. I’m not the girlfriend, okay?” She’s saying this to both Sam and Dean, jumping up from the bed, all action, almost pacing around the room. It’s making Sam a little dizzy. “That’s just, fuck, no man, I am not down with the girlfriend gig. Like ever. That’s not the game here.”

“You’re thinking this is a game?” Dean says in a dangerous voice.

Faith halts, runs a hand through her hair, and Sam can see what’s broken and he wonders if Dean can see it too.

“I never said something stupid and regretted it,” he says, but they’re not listening and that’s not the game that’s being played now anyway.

TBC...
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