Sleeping for a week sounds tasty, but I do have work tomorrow. Damn.
It's okay, I'll do the working thing and then I'll have a weekend where I WON'T be stressing out over finishing a fic that took FOUR months to write. Over 9,000 words. I'm just happy I finished the damn thing. I pimp Kidney Punch again because DUDES. It took forever and a day.
And I'm strangely happy with how it turned out. The next part will be so much easier to write. It's just snark, sex, snark, and then some more sex. Making fun of SPN vampires. Seriously, I cannot wait.
One statement, instant hilarity: "Vampires mate for life."
A quick random conversation:
Vampires Mate for Life (And Other Wrong Facts About Vampires)
Pairings: (Mentions of) Faith/Dean, Angel/Buffy, Buffy/Spike, Angel/Spike, Buffy/Angel/Spike
"B, seriously, he's fucking pretty as hell but I have no idea why he believes all that crap about vamps," Faith says, stubbing her cigarette into the hotel ashtray.
"At least they know that vampires aren't gothed out and secretly tortured and really want to be good...I can't finish that without you mocking me, right?"
Faith smirks even though Buffy can't see it. "Angel saved a puppy back in the day. I ever tell you that?"
"What?" Buffy's question is weird, like she's not saying it to Faith, but Faith ignores that. She's got something even tastier to tell Buffy.
"Nevermind. Get this, Dean told me that vampires mate for life."
There's silence over the line.
Faith presses her ear closer to the phone. "Dude, I know you got Angel and Spike panting after you. Don't mess with me. Vamps don't mate for life."
Still no answer. Faith lets a minute pass, then says a bit uselessly, "Hello?"
"Hey Faith," a male voice says and Faith knows who it is right away.
"Um, is there a reason why Buffy's laughing hysterically on her couch?"
There's mature ways to handle this. Faith could think of these ways, but she's angling for the best way to get a reaction out of Angel. "She's upset 'cause I told her the truth."
"Upset?" There's that familar befuddled tone of his. "Faith, she's laughing."
"She's being strong, man," Faith says, infusing her words with a too-solemn tone so that it's clear she's fucking around. "She knows about you and Spike."
"You and Spike. That you guys mate for life, being vamps and all. Really, I'm all for you two crazy kids sealing the deal with a commitment ceremony, but you guys really need to stop jerking B around. Unless you're letting her join in."
"Faith, you haven't been reading those vampire novels from drug stores again, right?"
She whistles low and says, "Don't hide from the truth, Angel. It's obvious. He's your soulmate."
"Hilarious," Angel says in that perfect terse way and she has to laugh at it.
"I'll explain what's the what when you get your ass back to the States. You owe me a drink."
"Still upset about that memory spell?"
"Dude," she says, as flippant as possible, "I'm pissed. But there are bars near Stanford where the college crown ain't annoying and maybe you oughtta see your boy. Without the world ending."
Angel makes a noncommital noise and that's good enough for Faith.
"Don't worry, I won't even try to switch out your pig's blood with dead man's blood."
And now I sleep. Leaving Angel so, so confused. Now that's familar.