I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.
regala_electra

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Imagine me not screaming because I'm too nice to be screaming.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Whew, that felt a lot better. Lot of drama around the house, mom's going nutters again. I went to a relative's birthday lunch and had a nice time until my mom had the gall to bring up the Drama Fight of yesterday (which happened while I was trying to watch Lost in La Mancha, so I missed a big chunk of the movie while a big fight happened for no good reason).

She basically accused me of all the basics: I do nothing around the house, I'm just like my father (and thank god for that, me and my dad are low key until we are forced to reach our breaking point; my mom on the other hand can have meltdowns over a misplaced newspaper people), that I'm taking all this money away from her so that I can go to college, blah blah I suckcakes. I was just so pissed at her. Fortunately my family at the table (great aunt, second-cousins) basically defended me, saying she (my mom) is too demanding. Which she very much is.

The thing that really ticked off my mom was that she asked my dad to do something, he said he was tired, she harrassed him again (my mom just will not stop until it is DONE THE VERY ISTANT SHE MENTIONS IT) and he said, in an outburst of anger, that it was women's work. Now, I was sitting the room while they were fighting and I didn't hear him say this.

So my mom's been throwing that around for the past two days, because it just ticked her off. And yeah, it's not a nice thing to say, but honestly this a person who told *ME* in an outburst of anger to go out on the streets and sell my body to make money to pay her rent. So she is again overreacting.

And she expects me to back her up, to choose sides. I don't play that shit anymore. She's my mom, yes, she's defended me, she's been there for me, but I see how she behaves. She's the type of person who says "I hope I have cancer" or "I hope I drop dead of a heart attack" and the underlying sentence is "THEN you'll realize how important I am."

It's like living with fucking Mommy Dearest, I swear to god. She honestly doesn't get why I'm not the good, dutiful daughter. I do not respect people who say awful things and not only mean them, but do not apologize for them. Respect is earned.

And goddamit, I do stuff around the house. No, I don't jump up and do it when it's demanded, but it gets done. I do everyone's laundry, I cook, I vaccum, and I clean the rooms: bathroom, kitchen, and living room.

So, I sort of vented there. Had to get it out. But I'm so over this.

She mentioned at the lunch how I'm such a terrible person for wanting to move out. Excuse me? Yes, I don't pay rent right now, but she knows I don't have ANYTHING to pay her. And I do work around the house, and I've been doing it since I was twelve. And I've NEVER had an allowance or been paid for chores. Yes, I'm sucking up all her money for college, only NOT, as she AND my dad pay for a partial amount of my tution, less than 25 percent.

And she agreed to pay for this, she said I wouldn't have to pay her back. Because she was just SOOOOO proud that her daughter was going to a good school. But she'll hold it over my head forever. As she does with anything she's ever gotten me.

She once tried to say that she bought me my laptop (so that I should be grateful, for She Is Such a Wonderful Person to Her Terrible Daughter), but I smacked down that bullshit, this was a graduation gift from my grandparents. I hate it when she tries to take away *MY* things by claiming they're HERS because she offered to buy them. They're gifts, you see, and it's why I now prefer to buy things myself, because she'd say she owned my car if she paid for the registration for it. That's why everything on the car? Was paid for with my money.

I do not trust her at all to ever give things without expecting constant humility and declarations of "whatever crazy thing you demand of me, I shall do, master. You say I should prostitute myself? Yes, I shall. I am worthless and you are wonderful and everything I do is wrong."

Gah, it's just that I cannot stand this drama. I am anti-drama. Like my dad, when it gets this ridiculous, I cannot stand it.
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