I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.
regala_electra

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"Aye loca on the card it say HIT TV...I say HIV! I SUUUCKED."

If you know who I'm quoting in my subject header, you're my new best friend* for the day.

*void in Missouri as it'll be a cold, cold day before I recognize Missoura.

I've been feeling very low-key lately. There's the embarrassment of slicing my thumb so badly I had to get stitches and then there's my general writing anxiety which hasn't really faded away but I'm slowly fighting it, I guess. It's frustrating because without the use of my right thumb I have difficulty moving around my laptop so it makes typing at home near impossible and eventually my hand starts getting strained. Ugh.

But I have been making the most of the crappy hand I've been dealt (if you see what I did there). Somehow I managed to do a half-decent job at making some panini last night. I felt very accomplished.

While I have been somewhat radio silent on el-jay, I've wasted my life hours watching teevee. I did get to see the Kings premiere. Anytime Ian McShane delivered a monologue, I was pleasantly reminded of that time I was in love with Deadwood and looked forward to Swearingen's gorgeous, curse-laden speeches.

McShane does a damn fine job with words, y'all. I'm not sure if it's something I'll get hooked on but it certainly got my attention with the premiere episode.

Did anyone catch McShane on The Daily Show? He was fabulous although I admit I'm completely unused to his actual voice as I've mainly seen him in Deadwood obviously. His natural voice sounds so kind. It was awesome to find out that he supplied the voiceover for the parody McCain RNC video by telephone. And it wasn't like TDS had some connection to him, they just contacted him and asked him to do it and he said yes. Really, he was perfect for it since Powers Boothe (one of the greatest names in the history of ever) did the actual Republican National Convention McCain biography video.

For those who never watched Deadwood, Powers Boothe played the nemesis to Al Swearingen. :D

That's probably the first time a smiley-type face has been put next to Swearingen's name. I feel slightly discombobulated.

To recombobulate myself I will also say that Stephen Colbert interviewing Neil Gaiman was simply perfect. Colbert nerding out with his fanboyishness is always a delight. UM. And regarding last night's show and the mockage of Sci-Fi Channel changing their name to SyFy (AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT? WHAT? WHY? ALSO: FUCK YOU, SCI-FI.), I have to say something important you guys:

I think Colbert speaks internet hardcore. He called Sci-Fi "Skiffy" which is their, um, pet name, I guess to be extremely diplomatic about it. I don't know how common it's used outside of fannish circles though.

Whatever, I was stoked to hear him say Skiffy.

Would you like to know what else I am stoked about?

For once it's not about Show. (Gasp here for emphasis, drop monocle only if you are wearing one.)

No, it's about my new reality TV obsession. It's fabulous. It's fierce. It's an EXTRAVAGANZA.

Yes bitches I am indeed talking about RuPaul's Drag Race. Is anyone else watching it? It is some epic, epic sheer awesome. Totally riffs off of tropes in America's Next Top Model (aka Tyra Banks in the key of MEEEEEEE) and Project Runway (there's even a Tim Gunn!).

Last season on Project Runway, they had a drag queens challenge and I swear I was in heaven. I've always been FASCINATED by drag and really admired those who do it well. Seeing them compete in a reality show that's shockingly good is even better.

So basically I'm going to give y'all a primer of why you should be watch this RIGHT NOW. Unless you have work (and girl, you better work), there is no excuse to miss out on the glory that is RuPaul's Drag Race.



First there are the catch phrases. They are so much more inspired that many of the newer reality shows trying to capture the glory of the breakout sensations. I mean, you have what I used in the cut tag as an example but then there's:

- "And don't fuck it up" used as RuPaul's advice to the queens (an awesome riff on make it work and really, don't fuck it up is exactly the advice all reality show contestants should take to heart).

- "Shante, you stay." "Sashay, away." That's how you get dismissed. SASHAY AWAY. Delightful.

It's a short season with only nine contestants. All the episodes save for the finale have aired including a clip show. Episodes air on LOGO on Mondays however I've watched the show via LOGO online or you can find Other Means of downloading it. VH1 airs the episodes but they're about a week or so behind.

Each show has a mini-challenge (photoshoot, vogue-off, etc.). RuPaul shows up outof drag, wearing a smart suit and bespeckled, a la a Mr. Tim Gunn. Much like Tim Gunn, leading up to the final challenge (runway show), RuPaul will inspect what each contestant is doing and dispense advice. Helpful advice. RuPaul's critique is always thoughtful and valid.

The final challenge is a runway walk with a theme ("Design on a Dime" being the first challenge). RuPaul kicks off the event in full, fabulous drag, walking the runway set to her latest song: Covergirl (Put the Bass In Your Walk). Then each contestant struts her stuff on the runway for a panel of four (or more) judges: RuPaul (duh), Santino Rice (YES that Santino, from Project Runway Season Two), Merle Ginsberg, and a rotating series of judges. Bob Mackie has been on as well as Lucy Lawless.

(Like I say, this is EPIC.)

However the final decision is RuPaul's in the matter of who goes home. Normally there's boring crosstalk and misleadingly edited "debate" between the judges but on THIS show things are done a little differently (note: when the contestants have to wait, they are told to go back to the Interior Illusions Lounge - best name EVER).

Because when the bottom two are selected, they must LIP-SYNC FOR THEIR LIFE.

Let me repeat that again. In order to determine who shantes and who sashays, RuPaul selects a song and makes them LIPSYNC FOR THEIR LIFE.

This is...amazing.

And yes there is DRAAAAAAAMA when queens have to fight to save themselves from elimination.

Now as for the finale (and the ACTUAL finale airs on Monday and oh yes I will be posting about it, either weeping in joy or CAPLOCKING in rage), let's Meet the Contestants:

(I'm using some photos that Tom and Lorenzo have posted as a part of their coverage, which consists of recaps, snarky comments and screenaps, so um, SPOILERS be in that thar link.)

Ongina

So precious. Her quirky style and individualism is a treat.

Jade

More of a physical performer. She...tries.

Victoria "Porkchop" Parker

Very classic drag performer.

Shannel

Shannel is very much a Las Vegas showgirl and loves costumes and rhinestones but most of all, Shannel loves herself. She's kind of love her or hate her. I LOOOOOVE her. But she definitely can be trying at times.

Akashia

She named herself after the character in Queen of the Damned. 'Nuff said.

Tammie Brown

Very old school Hollywood Glamour comedy. Think Lucille Ball as a drag queen. (Shockingly it isn't that hard for your mind to go there, is it?)

Bebe Zahara Benet

Miss CAMEROOOOOOOOON as RuPaul calls her. She's extremely graceful and very fashionable. I enjoy her very much.

Rebecca Glasscock

I hate everything that she chooses to be but I hate her the most. The championed "pretty" one in the competition, Rebecca is a total reality tv show contender and her makeup/hair/clothes decisions are trashy with a capital tranny.

In fact I think I'm using a picture of her "old" nose (though she claims not to have had any plastic surgery) so take that, you tired little Latin boy in a dress.


AND INTRODUCING FOR YOUR VIEWING PLEASURE, THE DIVINE FIERCE MISS

NINA FLOWERS


Admire that fierceness, bitches. She OWNS it. She owns EVERYTHING.

Heh I didn't say this was going to be an unbiased primer. Nina Flowers is my faaaaaavorite. She's very unique and always pulls out a look that is completely "Nina". She's one of the shorter drag queens there but can walk the runway like she's a glamazon. There is mayhaps a wee bit of local pride seeing how Nina's Puerto Rican, but I really just adore how she's drama-free when not in drag (and in drag, it's a GOOD kind of drama, the kind where she's still POLITE to her other competitors, HOW THE HELL DOES SHE MANAGE IT).

LOOK AT THIS FIERCE QUEEN. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO WATCH THE SHIT OUTTA RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE:

She's from Bayamón or South America or some shit and she calls you loca but she's not livin' la vida loca fuck no she ain't no closeted Ricky Martin freak she's the real deal you fucking know it now OWN IT, BITCH.

She's been doing this for like fucking fifteen years what the fuck have you done you stupid ass I bet you were watching Care Bears or some shit.

AND FOR A NEW MEME:

YO DAWG I HERD YOU LIKE DJS SO I PUT A DRAG QUEEN AS YOUR DJ SO YOU CAN BE FIERCE WHILE YOU ROCKING DA BEATS A FIERCE DRAG QUEEN IS SPINNING.

That's right. Nina Flowers is also a freaking DJ. And she lives in Denver, Colorado.

Damn fucking straight Imma find out if she's DJ-ing when I'm going to WinCon.

Now what in the hell are you still doing here? Go watch these queens fight for the crown.
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