I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.

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fic ramble

Poor, poor me.

I suck.

I'm not that good a writer. Hell, I doubt I'll ever be considered 'good.' But somehow, I've gotten a bit of an ego over the years. And my procrastination has overwhelmed me at points where I had really, really great story ideas a-bubbling and a-brewing, and guess what? They don't pan out.

I was looking through my disks and man, in medias res? My Evil!Buffy vs. the Scooby Gang with a side of fucked up, extra-dark B/S?

So fucking good. Or at least, it could be. But man, I just can't do it. It's at 12 pages, in many fragments and I cannot write another word. And yet, what's there is really, really interesting stuff. *Hangs head in shame*

And there's Concurrent, which remains frozen at scene one and continues to be frozen. Why must you mock me, you B/A/S fic? WHY!!! And I can't go on until that scene is finished. Grr. Dammit, I want to get to the smut and the angst, and the issues, but Buffy just will not play and I can't do anything about it.

Wanderlust is suspended for the moment, as I'm being assaulted by Go Out Swinging.

Which will be slightly sad to write, as Wes will remain as dead as he is on the show in the fic. So no real Faith/Wes to play with, except for some fond memories shared by Faith and Illyria in a 'bonding' moment.

So Wanderlust becomes my fluff fic by default. But when I say 'fluff' I mean 'fluff' for me. It's comforting to write.

There will be violence, drunkeness, an affair, and sexy mcsex with no happy endings. Because that's what I do, yo.

For example, Beyond Ragnorak, a tale about the end of the world, was really relaxing for me to write. That to me, is comfort fic.

Although I'm happy to be writing anything, I am so shamed by the fics I'm ignoring in order to write Go Out Swinging. Because I'm in the beginning stages, where quite a bit of the dialogue is crap.

I'm still trying to flesh out character and a monster of a twisty plot is starting to take shape. And I'm also debating about using present tense instead of past tense, which should have already been decided, and while I'm favoring present, just something about the fic says it should be in past tense.

Despite all that, I think I'll have the first part/teaser up of Go Out Swinging by tomorrow night and well, as much as I'm loathe to do a WIP, I think that's the only way I can get it finished, lest it become another in medias res, a good idea ultimately killed by a writer's lazy, lazy ass.
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