I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.

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O, Sonnet, You are Gone to the Wind

I am trapped at school. Oh NOES, SNOW! is the cry heard round the campus.

Evil, evil snow.

A weird thing was written on the chalkboard at my last class: Class canceled due to the wind.

So er, one of my classmates went to make sure the professor didn't cancel, and it turns out she didn't, which YAY because it's advanced poetry and I was anxious to see how I did on my sonnet. I am not good with the writing of supposed love poetry. And the mystery of that written statement will never be answered.

Turns out I did well, although I did get smacked down a bit for my diction, the professor wants us to write in a more contemporary tone, I tend to use more archiac and fancier language when writing poetry, it just feels more natural. So after I fixed a trochee and removed 'ere' (although I really, really liked using it), I have a pretty nice sonnet and if the posting board wasn't DOWN, I post my revision at our class board.

Sonnet of the Stargazer

Unspoken, now the last path that we tread
Is more elation set beyond, so high
We look here - not to darkened days ahead,
For stars may see and fall down from the sky.

As rare as this mistake that shadows light,
My hands are still, and now I will not mourn,
I cast you up there far above my sight,
And memory now becomes the break of dawn.

This breaks the structure framed of this, our world,
Our promise spun away instead, now lost.
We stole a piece of life itself, stars swirled
and fell past barren lands that once I crossed.

Just speak, and you shall shake the dreadful will
Not gone to whims of death, I seek you still.

Rhyming is incredibly hard for me, but the professor said these rhymes were good, which is great for me to hear, because I struggle with it almost as much as I do with writing iambic pentameter. I simply can't 'hear' the stresses properly, so I end up overstressing an unstressed word - I fucked up by going 'mistaked shadowed,' which creates two 'hard' sounds next to each other and fixed it by writing 'that shadows' and I couldn't figure out how memory scanned, so I actually changed the line incorrectly and after that was noticed in class, I fixed it by adding the 'and' to the line. I totally cribbed the idea of the poem from one of my fanfics. In this case, it was The Light Fantastic. Of course, the nature of the idea changed and became a much more strict Shakespearian-style sonnet. It's a discourse on the sky, but it's not as blissful and emotionally raw as the fic, it's more stately and resigned in sonnet form.

I changed my user info because I hated what I had up there. You can go here to check it out, and if you have the time, please do. I tried to be funny, interesting, and at least give some sort of honest bio of myself, even when I was lying.

By the by, my memories are at 69 entries. I almost don't want to add anymore because that's fucking funny.
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