My Top Five:
1. A Portrait of the Artist as Young Man, James Joyce
I have had to study this fucking 'novel' in both high school and college. Dreck. I've tried to take it from every angle and every angle both sucks and blows.
And as cincodemaygirl noted in the thread, reading that is "Like reading a good author's bad teenage poetry."
I could rant about how much I despise it, but I have only so much time to spend on the haaaate.
2. The Scarlett Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne
I've read other short stories by Hawthorne because he's blah blah great American writer blah blah blah Puritan blahness. And they all suck. Yes they do. The symbolism in this book makes me want to take a drive to where Hawthorne's buried so I can kick his tombstone. Ooh, clever naming your characters with such revelant names such as Dimmsdale and Chillingworth (and I'm getting it wrong probably because RAGE ARGH) and then the little child Pearl and writing an entire fucking chapter on how much she's like a Pearl and more symbols and ARGH where's that tombstone?!!
3. Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
I think was too old when I finally read this. Very unimpressive, I totally hated Holden and it just felt too much like Salinger was trying to be a hipster in a way and GAH, I hate Holden.
4. Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte
When my class said how romantic the horrible Heathcliff and Cathy are, I wanted to cry. (He fucking lynches a puppy and enjoys it! He's a sick fuck!) There is no one in that book that you can even like, let alone consider a 'hero.' That people consider Heathcliff a tragic or romantic hero is just...ugh. Plus, and I'm totally going to say this, the writing sucks. Yes it does. The narration choice was off-putting and the language in it was pretty unimpressive and the fire and ice symbolism made me gag.
5. Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck
(should the above-mentioned book ever fail its duties as a hated book, I shall remind myself of The Pearl and the fact that Steinbeck wrote the same damn theme over and over again without saying anything new about it)
I dislike Steinbeck very, very much. It's vaguely irrational. But I go in knowing it's going to end fucking badly and it's just so dreary and dreary AND then, guess what? More drear. Blah.
ETA: cannot believe I did that. Thanks, purple_smurf