Oh wait, that doesn't sound like my calf muscle was trying to force itself up behind my fucking knee with the power of a thousand burning suns right behind it.
What made it worse was that it wasn't like I had done anything to cause it, it was late at night, I was watching Eric Brockovitch on cable TV, amused by the words chosen to replace all the 'fucks' and other curses. Then all of a sudden, my muscle seizes up and I actually jumped up from the couch and in a rush to stop the OMGTHEPAIN I jammed my leg against the couch while on the floor and pressing the muscle down to keep it from jumping up as it was very wont to do.
Clearly, I do not have a high tolerance for pain and I've only had this happen about two times in my life, at times when it made sense, as I was doing things such as a demanding physical performance in a school musical (and it actually was demanding, I had to these pratfalls during Bye Bye Birdie that were really frikkin' scary as I was basically falling on wobbly tables that make up a fake 'stage' on the actual stage).
But this was just...insane. There was no reason for this to happen.
So I was screaming and crying and gettin a little hysterical as ten minutes went by and no one was coming by to see why the fucking I was screaming.
Did I mention that my father was directly upstairs and my sister was just in the other room?
So finally my mother comes in from the backyard, sees me on the floor, now a sobbing mess because now I'm just a wreck, she hangs up the phone and starts yelling for my jackass family to come and see what happens.
Because I'm now in shock and I'm splayed out on the floor, mostly just completely out of it, I can't calm down and go, "it's just my calf muscle, I didn't break a leg or anything."
And I get to hear them say, "Oh, I thought you were laughing," which is great, because apparently when I'm screaming in pain, that sounds just exactly like laughing in joy. Good to know.
Eventually, I did calm down, my leg was treated but oh dear god, I was in pain. So much so that I had my first usage of a Flexoril (and I have no idea how to spell that) although I was tricked into taking it. (My mom hid it in some rice pudding, I try not to take medication unless I'm really, really ill.)
I totally passed out on Friday night because of the pill as well.
So on Saturday? I was not much for the walking, although I could do some good limping around the house.
Today at least, I can walk. But all I was able to do today was a couple of loads of laundry and I made Swedish pancakes, which I then found out that no one else in the house likes to eat. So I now have breakfast for every day this week all ready to be reheated in the morning.
So here is what I accomplished this weekend:
Watched the last two episodes of Veronica Mars season one on my shiny new DVD player. (By the way, reccing it as the 'new Buffy' pretty much kept me away from this shiny series which is unfortunate because I really, really do like it. Also? I ship NO ONE on the show! Mwuah ha ha ha. I embrace nonshipping for it is a joy to be sane.)
Watched Sin City with my mom last night, although she fell alseep during Marv's storyline and I passed out during Dwight's. I am not willing to watch the Marv storyline again ("HE MADE ME WATCH!!!" still creeps me the fuck out) but I do want my mom to see the rest, considering she was all disappointed that Bruce Willis's storyline 'ended right at the beginning' and I didn't want to spoil her that it continues on to the third act.
Watched Phanton of the Opera to determine if perhaps I could truly love the movie. Was saddened to learn that while I love Gerard Butler and Patrick Wilson, I still am 'mehhed' by the movie.
I did keep on yelling, "he's only slightly burned on one side, somebody get him some salve!" and "Look how hot he is!" during the movie. But I too would have taken Patrick Wilson, mostly because I've seen his ass and it's foine.
Watched A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and was happy, even though by now, I had a pounding headache.
Perhaps next week I'll have a breakout of pimples on my chin and will be forced to spend the weekend trying to fight the outbreak or something else just as splendid.