I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.

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Watchmen: R is for Review (and violence and naked blue peen)

Today I was struck with a sudden case of Watchmen-itis which of course resulted in me catching the 3:30pm Watchmen showing.

This is the source material for the movie if you haven't seen:


You just know this could have been a REAL thing. Somehow it did not happen. Much like fetch, it was just not going to happen.

Non-spoilery reaction: I'm so happy I got to see it today.

I went to see it in IMAX but because the theater followed its dream of fail, the movie screen was not as awesomely enormous as I'd hoped. By the way, I really should remember this but whenever the usher-dudes says they'll start lining up at X time, don't listen to them and just wait around. memphis86 got there about an hour and half before the movie started but after checking out the situation (and printing out the tickets) we headed out to get snacks (and a healthy lunch of street vendor hot dogs, heh).

Twenty minutes passed and wow, there was indeed a line. Fortunately we were in a good position to score excellent seats because seating arrangements are serious business. Allowed to sit with us were ignited (and we finally exchanged birthday presents because we are dorks) and loony_moony who gave me a surprisegift of the most precious unicorn EVER. He sparkles. I am both dazzled and dazzling.

My ultimate reaction:

I'll save nitpick and thought crit for another post.

I was really, really happy with how Watchmen ultimately came out as a movie. They hit a lot of the scenes/lines I adored the most (for instance Rorschach's "and I'll whisper no" speech is kept in its entirety in the movie, while the trailers had an edited version; and his joke culminating in him saying "everybody laugh. Rimshot." also was complete which...oh god this could turn into an epic review and I need to get me to sleep so I'll save it for another time).


- A blue penis is most welcome. I would encourage a trend of the penis being exposed more in movies as goddammit, naked lady can be in ANY movie and yet the penis is treated as an elusive creature. MORE DICK, THANKS. Perhaps a little less blue next time.

- Patrick Wilson, I love you. And your fabulous ass. Really. Keep on showing it. I love that it got all ba-donk-a-donk-donk with his "out-of-shape" physique. Baby, you had back.

- Also your dorky treatment of Dan was perfect. He was like a nerdy, flustered virgin around Laurie. Heh.

- Rorschach. Our audience fucking LOVED HIM. When he said "Don't you understand? You think I'm locked up with you...but you're locked up with me" our audience erupted in applause. And for good reason, that was HIM. Man. Completely damaged and crazy but the kind of vigilante that can so easy exist.

- The opening to The Times They Are A-Changin' was just ASDOKDFOIJSDIOJSFOIJS. I can't EVEN. JUST. WOW. YES.

- Jeffrey Dean Morgan got it when it came to portraying the worst of the Comedian. He's the nightmare, the twisted version of the American dream, just, he's a bad, bad dude. But he pulled it off with the cocky swagger and you hate him and but he was fascinating on the screen.

- There's a lot more to say of the changed ending. It worked fine in my opinion and I liked it as far as, well, Jon did alter the course of "our" history by his mere existence so it makes sense that he'd become...the ultimate specter of our end if we don't behave ourselves. It nicely called back to Wally's comment on his misquote "I said, 'There is a God, and he's American'" and well since he does faff off in the comic ("BRB gonna found my own race of living creatures. TTYL!") I liked that he had to leave thanks to Adrian's plan.

- Oh Adrian. You're such a dicksmack. I'm not completely sure how to feel about the actor's treatment of Adrian. He felt different from the comic whereas I felt everyone was much more "on" with regards to the source material. There were nice touches, like him putting on an American accent when doing publicity but speaking with a slightly German accent when talking to ex-Masks (Dan & etc).

Lastly, this movie is incredibly violent. Like it is obvious this is from the director of 300. I never really close my eyes during gory stuff but I refused to watch the amputation scene in the prison riot. I knew it would be too much for me to handle.

As I stated up above, the blue CGI penis didn't bother me in the slightest since Dr. Manhattan doesn't do clothes and I liked that it wasn't treated as special. Because maybe the fact that he's a superpowered being no longer human was the more important thing to be concerned about--that and the blue glowiness. Why does no one comment on the blue?

How did Laurie sleep around Jon? Wasn't he pretty much like a nite lite times a MILLION? I know I'd have trouble sleeping around that might brightness.

Those are important questions, people.

Okay. Must save brain for later. Must see movie again.

Oh. One more thing.


My flist will post part 1/? of "Nite Out with a Nite Owl" (Rorschach/Nite Owl) and I'll scream NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Then I'll fall down to my knees while screaming NOOOOOOO.

And you know how bad that is. I mean, no one looks good doing that.

Ahem. Not like that happened in Watchmen. Heh.

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