I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.

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another day of happy medicine, without any side effects

Happy things:

1. maerhys posts Misha's poem [Baby Pants] as part of National Poetry Month.

2. On my reflections about one of my favorite books of poetry [Barter], I find out the author Monica Youn is coming out with another book of poetry. Also, randomly, she was a NY delegate for the '08 DNC Convention. Heh.

3. Today I opened up a neglected Word document and wrote more words in it. I don't know a) when it'll be done though it's a short story and b) if anyone would want to read it because it's a bit unusual, but it's a start and a welcome reprieve from not writing.

Show is on tonight. As the bylines of the Fandom Charter deem it to be, I shall be watching. However I am ignoring the part of the charter that demands I care about if someone is "breaking up the OTP" and that "thou must always hate on ladies" all the single ladies, all the single ladies, now get your pitchforks hands up, UP!.

My guilt, massive as always, was in overdrive watching the clip of SPN guys talking about Castiel's welcome to SPN vs. the reaction SPN female characters have received and reading posts and comments, many of them quite thoughtful. Had I, indeed, been guilty of this behavior? As a female fan, do I hate women for XYZ reasons?

Nah. I actually went so far as to read my ep reviews of S3, you know, the one where those Evil Wommins Ruby and Bela were introduced. And I LIKED Bela.

If anything, I did (and continue to) mourn the wasted potential of her character. And I wince at how her storyline ended/was resolved. The one female character I probably didn't like much from the beginning was Jo, but that was mainly due to her feature episode being a really, really, REALLY bad take on the H. H. Holmes story (seriously one of the most fascinating monstrous humans ever), a killer of ANYONE who crossed his path into a serial killer of "pretty blondes". WTF with a size of barbecue, please. And yet I loved Jo in her final episode, thought hey, I want to see more of her only for that to be the end. Gaaaaah.

My feelings on Ruby are mixed. Mixed in with my issues with the demon storyline, which I find sometimes a struggle to enjoy - I really hated the episode Sin City which I don't think is a common opinion - as I don't really follow these convoluted plans of old Yellow Eyes and Lilith and whatnot without me wanting to throw my hands up and stomp up the stairs.

And I don't even have stairs to stomp on anymore. ;_;

But Ruby. Ruby, in marathon a good chunk of S4 and rewatching certain episodes of S3, has grown on me. Now, if I have preference over Katie vs. Genevieve, I know I'm not coming from some kind of hating-on-women perspective. There may be a reaction to acting styles but I've always kind of had that going for me. You don't have to pester me for long for me to say "oh I like [X] over {Y} because I find [X]'s acting much more natural/easy/entertaining/choose your poison."

For instance, while Claudia Black is a damn fine actress, I really preferred Ben Browder's acting style over hers. But, you say, that's a faulty comparison to make, they weren't playing the same character! True but they did have to portray the same character in a bodyswap ep and I'd give the prize to Ben Browder for his Rygel performance.

I try my best to understand what's going on with S4 Ruby but sometimes I cannot read into what Genevieve Cortese is doing with Ruby. And I get thrown out of the scene which irritates me. But I don't think that's me refusing to embrace Ruby because she's a female character. Rather that's me not understand where the show is going with a character who is supposed to be fairly important to the overall mythos of the show. I understand that the problem could very well be a writing issue, which is why I do try to assign my problems with the show as something going on with the writing, and not the acting, which makes me say "Um, where the fuck are you going with this?'

I don't know. I feel like this post has meandered into a "where are you going with this?" set of unanswerable questions which was not my original intention. I guess I need to feel less guilt over the perception that all of SPN fandom hates women while I'm sitting over in my strange little corner, resisting raising my hand and saying, "But I really do like female characters! I do! I love strong women and morally grey women and villainous women and potential love interest women and older women and younger women and angels and demons too (though I admit I find the demons, male and female, to be trying at times) and I do try to judge all characters equally and when I realize I'm using an unfair criteria to judge someone, I will do my best to revaluate. Seriously, you guys, I'm working on it!"

By the way, I found myself loving on Misha because his life is incredibly interesting (From Intern at the White House [When It was Respectable] to Actor Who Once Played a Character Able to Suck Himself Off: The Misha Collins Story) and he gives good interview.

I know not everyone on my flist likes Castiel but with an opening line like the one he had, I was doomed to like him. Doooomed, I say.

And this post is not the beginning or the end of my thoughts about SPN & Women, but it's a placeholder of sorts.

I really want to reread Youn's poetry now.
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