I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.

sometimes I'm a coward (thoughts re: That)

This post is obviously about the weekend's revelation of major unfunny business. Please feel free to skip.

Major source of links. Warning: triggery information linked at large.

I was at Wincon '08. I am proud to say that the organizers are terrific and wonderful people and I can't thank them more for throwing a yearly party where I get to see people I converse with on a more-than-weekly basis. Barring financial impossibility, I'm heading to this year's shindig in Chicago.

This weekend has kind of left me a mess even with the stuff I was doing to accentuate the positive: getting some cooking accomplished (mastering a recipe without looking up the instructions is always a win in my book) and taking my mom out for a nice Mother's Day in Manhattan as we're still aching over losing Grandma a year ago and Grandma's birthday always coincides with Mother's Day. So, I have been hurting.

I'm saddened at anyone who tries to play lawyer on the internet and winds up contributing to rape culture. Also, if people refuse to educate themselves despite the many who try to explain no this is how it really is, then I have no need for them in my life.

I was triggered and a nasty childhood memory I'd been blocking for a while came back to the forefront. This coupled with the event last winter where some asshole grabbed my ass while I was merely standing in front of my goddamn apartment building, has left me with nothing beyond a raw, angry nerve exposed and I thought it would not be effective to write up a lj post about my hurt because nobody fucking cares. I don't want to make anyone feel sorry for me. This is a process and I'm a work in progress.

I'm so proud of everyone who stood up and who voiced no, the way you are acting, that is not okay. I'm glad that those who didn't have the whole story stood up for women without demanding an internet day in court to judge accusations that were handled over two years ago, despite claims otherwise.

Even if you initially supported a friend who told you the incomplete story, to learn the truth, and admit it and seek forgiveness, that's a hell of a step. Thank you for that.

It's hard to stay coherent, hard not to voice my own opinions formed back at that convention which have no basis beyond my own emotional intuition, but I hope you forgive me for making this post. It had to be done if only because I need this to stay as a public reminder that I must stay committed to backing up women, always.

And for people who use what happened as a fucking case study for women needing to be on guard, always?

Fuck you.
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