I was a taller girl too, once. (regala_electra) wrote,
I was a taller girl too, once.

Tina! Bring me that axe!

Let's talk drag.

If you don't watch Untucked then you totally miss out on some of the real personalities of these divas.

Shangela? IS STAAAAANK. I can't even. Queens helping each other out while getting ready for the runway is fine by me but seriously, the revelation that she was getting other queens to do her makeup for her? Wow. WOW. You really aren't ready. And the fabulous outfit she wore for the S2 reunion show (including wig) were care of Raja? Holy shit.

According to Shangela though, she totally designed (or co-designed depending which side of her mouth she's talking out of) while hanging at Raja's house. Yeah. I totally believe that because so far we have had no indication of Raja's witty/out there drag presentations. Oh. Wait. Raja so far has been the most creative and pulls out very different looks each week. And we're on what, week five?

If anyone's ever watched Dave Chappelle's "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong", then you know that Shangela is like, a PRIME example of that only she hasn't gotten her comeuppance yet. Frustrating. But ugh, so she's ragging on Raja after they had a falling out (since according to Raja, who really hasn't had a reason to lie and has only JUST brought up the whole fuckery with the S2 reunion drag after Shangela repeatedly insisted Raja's performance in this ep was deserving of Bottom 3), and it's all just so fucking petty.

For all that Raja's catty and outspoken about the queens she thinks kind of suck, at least she's actually keeping it real. And KILLING IT ON THE RUNWAY on her own merits.

To date:

Raja is my favorite. Her Tyra was fabulous in a Raja way and while there are tons of ways to parody Tyra (the original Tyra, that is), she did fine. There was no fucking reason to "pad" as Shangela insisted as it's just the hair and face that makes a Tyra impression truly "Tyra". Also since Raja fucking KNOWS Tyra and has performed as Tyra TO Tyra, I think Raja is the expert in Tyra impressions, Shangela.

Manila needs a lighter hand or a defter hand with her makeup, homegirl can look busted under the wrong lighting which is a shame because Manilas' face is really gorgeous. I am so weirded out by the other queens (notably Mariah and Shangela) bashing on Manila's winning performance last week and then getting pissy at her for doing an impression of a Filipino character since Manila's biracial. WTF. I think I'm starting to root for her more due to the other queens being such assholes about her selected characters.

Delta needs to WORK. She's clearly a lipsync gladiator which is great but she needs to amp it up in the challenge performances. It's a shame; she's the second best at makeup as far as transforming her face but she just can't manage to dominate in the challenges. Honey, when you pick Cher, you go FULL CHER. There is no soft Cher. That being said if she can keep knocking off lesser queens via lipsync, that would be awesome. But seriously. Dominate, girl, you've got the talent for it. Now I don't mean to be offensive, but do you have any clear nail polish?

Yara Sofia. I thought she was pretty funny and didn't quite get why she was in the bottom two. She's not a native English speaker. She will not be able to master her accent in a week, y'all. That's just how she speaks. Either stop picking non-native English speakers to compete or stop bitching judges. FYI your last winner, the other Tyra, is barely coherent so really, stop being so shocked at Yara's lack of English prowess. That being said, she needs to step it up, ditch the terrifying contact lenses, and continue to be adorable. To be honest, I did like her look on the runway with the contacts but she really needs to stop using them. She's so much prettier when you can see her real eyes.

Alexis is boring and not very pretty. I don't get why everyone thought her Alicia Keys was so funny. Meh.

Carmen is...bless her heart. She's TRYING but good lord, she's so spacey. There is so much that could have been done with Jennifer Lopez but she was more interested in padding her ass. For a competition where she spent most of it sitting down. Sigh. But her dimwittedness is kind of endearing. Though really, she should not go too far.

Mariah. SIGH. Show off your true bitch colors some more why don't you. Really don't get why she's such a crusader on behalf of Asians TO a person of Asian descent but whatever, she really only had a great face and a killer body and no personality to save her from getting cut. Her Joan Crawford was AWFUL. Not knowing the words to the lipsync? BYE.

Stacy. Lynn. Matthews. Your win was such a WTF I still don't even. That hideous runway outfit, I just...can't. I can't. Mocking RuPaul for giving you HONEST criticism over you AGAIN repeating your "I just gotta show my true self" speech to Ru was such a shitty, stupid move. Go away. Also, as much as I CLEARLY don't like Shangela, she's the one that got Stacy to course-correct and do a much better character (allegedly Monique but really, "angry black fat lady who is really hungry for fried chicken" WAY TO GO TOTALLY NOT A STEREOTYPE). Stacy would've been fine doing Anna Nicole Smith with no idea how to do an impression of the character without Shangela there to beat it into her head that she needed to do something else. Then Stacy took all the credit for the idea when being critiqued by the judges. Ugh. UGH. I hate you now. Congrats.

Shangela. Your Tina Turner was whatever. Your makeup skills are sliding...how interesting after it was revealed in Untucked that India used to help you with her makeup and she's gone now so no more free help. Your Raja obsession is total haterade. I look forward to your keeping it real going wrong. No love, sincerely, A Hater.

That being said, all this drama is delicious. Work it, girls.

And thank you, Ru, for quoting my favorite Mommy Dearest line. <3
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